the unspoken word

its been so long...

2007-10-02T09:26:29+02:00

Ive not had the internet all summer living away from home so ive been cut of and unable to do anything which has just been anoying...

ive had like 2 hours sleep and i got the internet last nite and then saw blog.co.uk on my favorites list so i thought why not... now the blogging begins yay!

well what can i say i still dont sleep as much as i should. i drink too much coffee and my thoughts still haunt me

life is intresting

matt

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relationships

2007-05-25T06:29:19+02:00

ok well its 6 30am and ive not slept for 24 hours so im sorry for the poor grammer its because im a mizture of tierd and stress so its not good...

1st i would like to say sorry for the lack of posts it was because of this girl

evreything is confusing... ive fallen for her we have been going out for a while and its confusing... more to come soon as i need some coffee and a walk god its killing me

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hanger

2007-05-08T13:52:17+02:00

http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u20/mat616/untitled4.jpg

so what you think?

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A poem for parents

2007-05-08T13:37:52+02:00

Well its my parents wedding anniiversary and I decided this year I shall write them a poem... because I am poor... and this is it.

Now you have survived twenty years,
Through the bloodshead and tears,
And now with two chilldren to boast,
Plus a kick ass sunday roast,
Have become a beacon to follow,
Leading example for adults of tomoro,
SO I salute you MR and Mrs Webber,
Beacuse you two will last forever.

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take it all

2007-05-02T13:18:10+02:00

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emotions

2007-05-01T13:30:46+02:00

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The Brightest Idea

2007-04-30T13:10:05+02:00

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Art

2007-04-30T13:08:29+02:00

Hey I just wanted to inform you all that over the next week I will be posting designs that I have creared. All feedback is welcome

Hearts and Kisses

Matt

xoxo

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Little Horror Stories

2007-04-27T13:07:41+02:00

The Robotic Boy

There once lived a robotic boy
He was his parent’s pride and joy
Their favorite little appliance
Who broke all the rules of science

Royalty

Life isn’t easy being a queen
Having a corset burst your spleen

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72 hours of hell... part 3

2007-04-27T11:51:41+02:00

I am now on my 3rd and final day of the no coffee and its killing me i am so tierd and its not nice, i feel so tierd and im still eating loads and snapping at people.

!!! so far !!!!
I feel so bad I lapsed this morning I feel so weak and kane right now.

what happend???...
well last night I went out with my friends and got pretty drunk went home and passed out where evreything was all fine and dandy. Then the wardens tested the fire alarm woke me up I went into the kitchen and in a daze i made and drank a coffee.

That was a hour ago and I need another one now. Its like that part in 40 days 40 nights where the main character is on his 39th day and it all goes down hill...

WOW!
how mellowdramatic am I.

I would like to thank people for reading my little stuggle against my weakness.

BIG SHOUT OUT TO Chyna_doll and numbsunday and sapped you 3 have been nice
x

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72 hours of hell... part 2

2007-04-26T11:25:42+02:00

first I would like to say thanks for all of your support for my little challene I set myself. your words helped
x

SO FAR...
Its been 48 hours and its been HARD!. I would of posted more but Its been to hard. Ive found that since Ive stopped drinking coffee I have no real concentration. Like i cant relly stay focused at one thing at a time, which is not good for the fact I have exams for uni coming up.

ALSO! i am eating like crazy like when im up im going on proper binges. yesterday this is what i ate... starting from breakfast

2pieces of toast and butter and orange juice
1 pack of noodles
pack of milk choc buttons
1 pack of pasta and sauce
baguette and slamon
7mini rolls
1/2 roulade

this is like way more than i usually eat and i am VERY weight concoious im not a fan of my body anyway.

but there has been a good point to this i am sleeping relly well past 2 nights i havd at least 8 hours sleep which is just insane.

but there are also qwite bad things happening as well... like the shakes and mind splitting headaches which come and go.
I miss the coffee

xoxo

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72 hours of hell... part 1

2007-04-23T20:23:43+02:00

I belive evreyone has a drug of choice be it drugs, booze ect. wel mine is coffee i drink it like water... a black freshly ground coffee is to me what a hit is to a junkie. it picks me up its the highlight of my day i just need a coffee. Its been this way since ive been 13 and i first properly started drinking coffee before school... which just started me drinking more and more.

THE SITUATION...
well i drink at least 8 cups a day and that is a bare parts of it. If i dont get one of these coffees i feel it strait away i feel tierd and my energy level drops strait away. I lose focus and my mood swings go just in a spiral (which is usually downward)

today...
i woke up and there is no coffee in my flat and i just beared thinking ill just go get some later... fast forward it to 8:20pm and because im broke no coffee all day, which is the first in ages.

I feel so tierd and now i want coffee so bad and ive snapped a few times at people. However I decided that I want to see if I can go 72 hours without coffee...

well lets wait and see

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72 hours of hell... part 1

2007-04-23T20:23:42+02:00

I feel so tierd and now i want coffee so bad and ive snapped a few times at people. However I decided that I want to see if I can go 72 hours without coffee...

well lets wait and see

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72 hours of hell... part 1

2007-04-23T20:23:28+02:00

I feel so tierd and now i want coffee so bad and ive snapped a few times at people. However I decided that I want to see if I can go 72 hours without coffee...

well lets wait and see

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There is a killer in us all...

2007-04-21T11:01:05+02:00

The poison flower grows in a place
Where seeds grow far from grace
It is a dark place inside of us all
One that cries when a child will fall
Plant the lie and watch it grow
Who it kills we will never know
Like the murderer who lurks in the ally
Waits for his next victim to double his tally
It’s the little voice that inside our head
The one that says “better of dead”

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my one wish

2007-04-18T13:29:40+02:00

If I could have one wish
It would to be a killer fish
I'd wait in nets that you place
just so I can eat your face
The you can feel all the pain
Of some-one ripping out your brain

If One dream could come true
I would swim the ocean blue
I could see you dump in my home
get some revenge of my own
I will laugh as you sudder
opps and there goes your rudder

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The pin eyed voodoo doll called Molly

2007-04-18T12:32:25+02:00

The pin eyed voodoo doll called Molly
Has the story of the greatest melancholy
Far and wide people traveled to stare
At the little girls toy that had no hair
But six needles replaced both of her eyes
She became a freak to no-ones surprise

The pin eyed voodoo doll called Molly
You messed with her you would be sorry
Never laugh at those who deal with magic
Or the outcome will turn out be very tragic
So the little voodoo doll plotted the act
Waited for the day that she could attack

The pin eyed voodoo doll called Molly
Made her sweet revenge using a lorry
And ten sweet girls with a sweet smile
However they began to run a mile
Saw little Molly and began to scream
Your months too early for Halloween

The pin eyed voodoo doll called Molly
Has now killed the sweet little girl Polly
As she ran away from what she away
A lorry came and made her pay
The little voodoo doll then stood up and spoke
That is what you get for making me a joke

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good girls dont make front covers

2007-04-16T11:17:46+02:00

although I still love to touch you
I'll reserve the right to hate you
poison in the bottle leaves me hazey eyed
so i'll take a sip for evrey time you lied
so take the lipstick the boy you kissed
and just know that you wont be missed

Wake up in a cold sweat turn around youll be gone
In a teary state ill still wonder what I did wrong
You wont blame yourself I will do it for two
Cut myself twice as hard just for loving you
The same old poison will draw me in again
starting over instead of your lipstick will be a pen

When you read about me in a paper dont feel for me please
I know you never loved me and you faked evrey sqweeze
I lernt the lesson the lesson just one moment to late
Girls like you dont love they will only hate
I hope you will be happy with your new fake smile and lies
But you will be alone with all your broken ties

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it has been a while

2007-04-15T12:52:48+02:00

its been a while since i last did a blog. i got wierded out with writing down my thoughts and feelings but hey what have i got to lose.

songwriting
well this is going ok I guess leaving my band behind has left me to my own devices and made me realise why I started doing this thing in the first place. I do still miss my band but it would be nice to get back into it. also i started writing a new song

good girls dont make front covers

(check out the next blog to see the song)

sleep

I am glad to say over hte last week I have mamaged to sleep for 5 hours a night, which is the most I have done in about 10 years and I feel so great because of it. For the first time in a while I do feel good I am eating well and my mistakes and bad feeling are not controlling me so I am in a good place.

The City sleeps...
Well I was the city kid now leaving the city and going to the countryside to study has been good to me. I'm relly seeing a diffrence in the way I am. Citys have a habit of recreating themselves and you see the same people and people act like they own the world. Sadly I was one og those people and I can look back and think what a bad person I have been.
DO i miss the city?? yea i do i miss the buzz from being in a center and the life i had. but being away from it i realise citys can destroy you.

Hey if you made it this far i thank you for reading

(and im sorry for the bad grammer but the sun is out and i want to feel it on my face)

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it looks like its another long nite

2007-03-02T04:07:45+01:00

ok first i am going to say sorry for the poor spelling and gramer but i havent slept in 3 days and it feels like a liftime.
ive gone on a nite out with some flatmates and currently we are chilling in the front room and i am tryping this because it is the only thing keeping me sane. rrr i cant sleep and its driving me crazy. ive not drank coffee played computer games or done anything like that. last nite i lied in bed hoping to get to sleep i swear i then spent 11 hours staring at this chip on the paint of my ceeling. i then fixed it by climbing on my bed and tipexing it out. yes i got bord and went to a 24 hour spa to do this. i know crazy but i became obbsesed.
rite now i feel just so harsh i want to go to sleep but cant. it feels wrong to close my eyes. i am in some wierd place between reaility and a dream world. evreything to me now is just a daze. and i just looked at the clock and its like 10past 3 and i havent slept in over 70 hours it dosent feel good. evan if its for a hour i need sleep

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We have become alone

2007-02-28T23:59:04+01:00

I am started to get addicted to this I find it so liberating that I have somewhere where I can express my feelings. Its something that just cant be done now. Its we live in a one dimensional place where every one is happy just going along not rely doing anything. People have become clones, at times even those who protest to be different have a air of similarity two them.

I don’t blame people for this, its our culture it makes us act this way to become passive and accept what is in front of us. We go through life clinging to material values often to the expense to our emotional and “spiritual self” (yes I am aware of the irony of this rant being done on a laptop) But in my current situation (a university student) there is no way I can otherwise do this.

I see it every day which at times just sickens me, for example I was on a bus and where I go to uni is a small town and to catch the bus doesn’t take long to get to anywhere. When I went onto the bus as I looked around nearly all were listening to MP3 players and this I found tragic. Evan on a 5 minute bus ride people have become shunned into their own little world void of contact. You know what is the tragic part… I was one of them.

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This is where i go numb

2007-02-25T01:17:38+01:00

Why does it always have to be this way? when I get close I push away. When I feel something real I numb it down forget about the feeling and hope it goes away. Then when they are gone they are all I think about. Its been so long since my last proper relationship and the failed ones scatter my memory.

Am I still not over her?

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this is weaknes...?

2007-02-16T00:34:48+01:00

i will not take any substances for one week

ive been taking that vow for about 2months now, pretty much since i have come back to uni after x-mas. i go to a small town uni and its pretty much all you can do there.. seriously there relly isnt much to do apart from go out and gewt wasted. yea it is pretty great ive had some legandary times... but since late august ive been going out at least 4nites a week and its like starting to wear me out. im sick of waking up with that feeling of regret of what you may of done and a headache and want to put the world on pause so you can sleep and not deal with the noise. and staying in alone(like im doing now) because all my friends have gone out has left me nothing else to do apart from think. this can be a very dammaging thing at times. yea playing guitar is all great. but at times you can get sick of your own company and voice. look at the mirror and just go what the fuck. its a horrible feeling i dont like it. i will be doing this for hours more so go me.

this was a pointless rant but if you read this give me some comfort.

mat

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The unspoken word- First breath

2007-02-12T18:46:53+01:00

Well this is my first proper blog that will turn into one of many. I?ve kept a journal for a while and I?ve been thinking for a while to start up my own blog, so now is as good as time as any right?

It?s 5-30 pm so I?m going to make an effort to make this as legible as possible because I do have slight insomnia and dyslexia so my 3am posts will be interesting to say the least.

I go to university at the moment and study Film and TV so this means I have time to write and songs and music, which has become more of a release and I?ve been working on some new material I will keep you updated on this and audio/ visual clips will be provided as I progress.

You?ve got any questions at this point give me a shout and I?ll tell you all you need to know.

This may be short but this is my first post and I will update every couple of days and they will get more interesting, I promise.

To some up this will be the unspoken word of my thoughts I hope you enjoy them.

Peace,

MaT

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